CrazyAppleRumors has been having a field day with the Apple/Universal thing, starting Monday with “Apple Talks with Universal Not Substantive. Really Not Substantive,” and proceeding through Tuesday’s “Apple Considers Buying Telemundo.” But they’ve outdone themselves (or beat the joke into the ground) with yesterday’s “Apple Acquires Sandwich.” My favorite part (’cause it reminds me of me) is the analyst reaction section:
Marcus Gregory, Chief Investment Strategist for the State of California Teacher’s Pension Plan, said “Our holding in Apple is predicated on the company’s large cash reserves. I would hate to see those reserves frittered away on sandwich acquisitions.
“Now, granted, at the $5.75 purchase price of the tuna fish sandwich, Apple would need to acquire… five plus… carry the… well, a whole hell of a lot of sandwiches to make a dent in $5 billion, but it’s the principle of thing.”
The New York Times’ David Pogue was bullish on the move.
“I myself enjoyed a tuna fish sammich, I call ’em ‘sammiches,’ just the other day,” Pogue said.
“And, you know, they’re damn tasty.”
In more serious news, the balance sheet and statement of cash flows accompanying Apple’s latest quarterly earnings statement peg the company’s cash and short term investments at $4.53 billion, up from $4.4 billion at the end of the last quarter. But the company posted a $4 million operating loss, which turned into $14 million profit after interest income. Cutting it close, Fred.