BOFH: SQL For Retards

SQL for Retards. Hysterical. You can only imagine how often I dreamed of this conversation:

“But I’m not responsible for the which of the volumes he puts his tablespace on.”

“Uh?” The Boss responds, reverting to subhuman IQ as a defence.

“OK, an analogy. Let’s say I was the building owner and I rent you 30 offices.”


“And you have 30 staff.”


“And you put them all in one office because then you won’t have to go all around the floor to see what people are up to.”


“And then you complain to me about the air-conditioning because that one office is stinking hot, humid and smelly.”